Seriously overthinking this.

This waiting game is seriously a horrible thing. I’m the least patient person. I always look for quick answers or move on but this TTC process has definitely beat me down and taught me a thing or two in patience.

Post ovulation I am noticing slight cramps and a mild case of back pain. I did have stronger cramps during ovulation but it stopped as soon as it was done. I’m not sure why I’m cramping now. I couldn’t help but spend considerable amount of time on google. Not the best thing to do at 7 am. My husband is now talking to me about how I should just take it easy and mentally be prepared for the possibility of a round 3. The other day I had just broken down into tears at the thought of a round 3. I suddenly felt like this round might not work and just the idea that round 3 and the side effects could be a lot worse than it was this time really really scares me.

Anyways, this cramping although as google says could just be because of the clomid and ovulation (that my body is not used to) or it could be a sign of early implantation. Its like a 50-50 game in my head. I tell myself the worst. I then tell myself, maybe it really is going to work this time. I know I should stay positive and avoid stress but I am constantly thinking about it and the idea that I might have to wait another 10 days to even find out if I’m pregnant is crazy. I’ve already done a pregnancy test. lol that is how big of a curious cat I am. Imagine one day post ovulation I’m already holding a pregnancy test secretly without the husband knowing so that he doesn’t try to talk me into staying busy, active and beating down the idea so that I don’t work myself up.

I have however started a new habit of reading some religious books and stories that take atleast some of the free time during my day so as to avoid any idle mind/devils workshop syndrome 😛 Interestingly, this new habit has become more of a research work/project and I sit with a notebook writing down all the interesting things, names and stories I come across. Feels like I’m finally learning some history even though technically it is mythology.

Anyways, what are some things you’ve done during the wait? How do you save yourself from not going crazy.

2018, common. Please be good to me.



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