Losing it.

My provera hasn’t worked so far. I was supposed to be on my period as soon as I was done with the medicine and this is the first time that it’s been 3 days post provera and there’s no sign of my period.

I haven’t been myself this week. Throwing, breaking things, saying the most nasty things during arguments with the husband. It’s like I have absolutely zero control over how I feel. It’s so weird considering I’ve been extremely dull for the last week, this week is making me more aggressive than I’ve been in my teens and I am unable to find an outlet for this.

I’m tired. I really am tired. I feel like the world is against me right now. With his family constantly trying to poke their nose in our business at every step and wanting to meet at every given chance and wanting him to be with them all the time it is just pushing me to borderline crazy since they have been constantly pretending to support my journey.

I don’t know if people forget what’s going on with me or choose to ignore and start making plans only to make my life harder. People who’ve never wanted to come, suddenly all want to be a part of our lives because they need something from us right now. I don’t care about doing things, I will do it but all I’ve been asking for is to leave us alone for a bit.

I know life doesn’t stop when you are TTC’ing but after this week I feel like I just want to be with mum and have someone take care of me. I’m tired of just handling things on my own and constantly having to cater to other people’s needs and lives.

For once I just want someone to take care of me!!!!!!! I know I am like a snake right now, ready to hurt anyone that would come close but I wish people around me just understood that I’m trying, I really am trying not to be as mean as I sound right now but I feel like I’m unable to 😦


8 thoughts on “Losing it.

      1. try hear producing food that’s what I did….like seseme seeds laddu…pineapple….papaya….and exercise crunches and yoga where you have to put pressure on tummy….


  1. It is really exhausting and you are not alone. I feel the same way, except that I haven’t tell anyone but my mom we are trying. The desperation you feel, the sadness, the loneliness…

    I don’t know you but I wanted you to know that there are more of us feeling the same way.

    Good luck! πŸ™‚


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