I am afraid of being on my own. I am an awkward person with major inferiority complex. To be able to comfortably walk around in the gym or store is just not something i can do. This is one of the reasons the session with my trainer was good. I talk to her and I find her around me so I don’t feel like a lost puppy when I am there. Another reason to increase my fear is that I’ll make a mistake or not know how to use an equipment and just stand there confused. I never ask questions. Always been the shy one in the group.
However, today after a lot of replaying things in my head and going back and forth about it I made my way to the treadmill. It is the easiest thing for me because for the 20-30 minutes I’m on it I don’t have to worry about walking around or talking to anyone. I had my headphones on and had a tunnel vision. Just looked at one screen and followed the couch 2 5k app’s instructions of jog/walk/repeat.
Once I was done with that I surprisingly still had energy so I made my way to an equipment. Didn’t even know how it worked. Sat on it anyways. Tried. Failed. Walked to another one that was more familiar and did a few sets. Walked around in circles and left. My family for some reason thinks I’m a very confident person. May be it is the way I portray myself. I don’t know. Either way so far this week has been great. May be because I’ve started posting and feel like I am holding myself accountable more 🙂
In other news, I’m still on my period. Doesn’t seem to stop. Its already my 5th day and it feels like I just started having my periods. Anyone feel that times moving really slow?
I’m on my period and can’t wait for it to be done so we can go back to our TTC journey lol.
Dear Aunt Flo, its okay I get it. I’ve been praying to see you more often without having to force you to come but you are trying to overstay your welcome. You should leave already. Thank you.