I think I woke up on the wrong side this morning because I already feel like I’m in a bad bad mood. It also could be because of the fight the husband and I had last night. It is so silly but I think we both are in the right and its just a matter of adjustment.
I’m mad because my plan for this year was to make sure we focus on our TTC journey. Now his parents obviously haven’t received that memo yet and even though we see them very often they still choose to come stay with us for 6 weeks along with more people. Now the reason I’m angry is not just because they’ll come but also because my periods are so irregular that when I finally have them I don’t want to think about anything else but staying stress free, spending time alone with the husband, following the same diet and things with no change to my routine. I know life isn’t always in your favor and I’ve adjusted plenty of times and I understand that if it was my parents I probably wouldn’t have said anything of that but thats the difference between your mother and mother in law right. One is solely coming to take care of you with no other agenda in mind 🙂
I really hope this is the month. I tried an ovulation predictor kit this morning and the damn thing didn’t work. It said there was some error. I don’t know what the problem is may be I should try again tomorrow. I have also started noting down my BBT from today. Keeping fingers crossed.
I feel like we’ve gone past the stage of praying. Its like something I believe in so much is broken. There was a point when I rarely asked for something but when I did I felt like I had it or the situation I was in was sorted after prayers but this time I find myself bargaining and pleading and begging and this just doesn’t seem to work.
I was so positive yesterday. May be I’m just overworked. I’ve spent the last few days scrubbing toilets and floors in the house to make sure its spotless before people get here and I’m so tired I almost cried last night. I still have to mop floors and cook today.
I also spent the night obsessing and constantly watching videos and reading posts about people’s TTC journey. This is just making me more nervous. Now I’m just waiting for doctors call to confirm the next appointment to discuss the results from my blood work.
Please keep us in your prayers.