Mixed feelings.

I am tired today. Have been really pushing myself to workout and walk through the day. Short bursts of exercises in between work and other things. Also keeping ahead of the competition on fitbit this week. Also happy seeing comments and support from people I don’t even know giving me tips and telling me what has worked for them. So nice to see that and to know I am not alone. This journey and the last two years have been extremely tough.

Everything is fine but I know I’m still struggling. September 8th,2013 was when we found out about the miscarriage and today I am so full of negative thoughts.The last two years ever since that happened its been tough. Unhappiness, binge eating, hibernating away for weeks, not wanting to go out, body looking like an amoeba, lack of interest to do anything. The only reason I’ve been keeping fine is the constant travel but travel also means not having a routine. Something I really need to work on more than anything right now is to get into the habit of eating clean and working out. Every second week something new happens and so it gets really hard to stay on track. I wonder how people who travel often stay fit. I know that walking around cities and eating clean helps but right now my life only revolves around food and more food.

Anyways, going to try and keep myself busy. Going to stop stressing about TTC and just spend the next few weeks taking care of my body. I really am hoping nothing changes this time.

Current weight – 165.9 lbs


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